It’s Friday! Let’s F*ck Some Sh*t Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
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🔥 SEX – In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Communicate openly.
That’s easier said than done, right?
Communication with another person is always inherently a challenge — not necessarily always a difficult one, but a challenge nonetheless — because you’re dealing with the intent of the communicator + the interpretation of the recipient. And we all have lenses through which we see (and hear) everything based on our own life experiences, socialization, and internal belief patterns. So intent and interpretation can often be different — whether subtly different or wildly different.
And when we add the pressure of that communication being about sex? Oh, boy. All bets are off.
What’s shameful? What’s pleasurable? What’s okay? What’s fun?
What the hell is it even all about? Deep emotional/mental/spiritual connection? A quick fuck to get some feel-good hormones surging? Building intimacy within a relationship? Self-exploration and self-concept expansion? Trauma recovery? Willingness to be vulnerable?
These conversations are important to have with your partner(s) so everyone is on the same page. And to have those conversations, here are a couple of tips:
💖 Answer the above questions for yourself. Write them out. Excavate what’s beneath.*
💖 Schedule a time with your partner(s) to have an open conversation and fiercely protect that time.
💖 Decide ahead of time how you want to feel going into the conversation and put yourself into that emotional state on purpose.*
💖 Process the emotions that come up before and during the conversation so that you can stay present and focused on the goal of open communication.*
💖 Listen to your partner(s) and express your own truth.
💖 Schedule a follow-up, if that seems useful and follow the same steps to prepare.
* Excavation, emotional processing, and choosing your emotional state on purpose is the work we do inside Project Reclamation. Join us and get the in-depth Personal Excavation self-study course, supportive community, and coaching from Master Certified Coaches to help you along the way. Reclaim your sexuality, your body, and every other part of you. For you. 🔥
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💖 SELF-CARE – In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
In the northern hemisphere, winter is here. All at once. And that means dry AF skin, sinuses, vaginal tissue, and sometimes unquenchable thirst. (Though the summer sun also creates these experiences, so y’all in the southern hemisphere need this, too.)
HYDRATE YOURSELF.
Drink your water. Drink your herbal tea. Drink your electrolyte bevvies. And then drink some more water.
And for skin hydration and moisturizing, you may have multiple products you’re using, so I’m going to offer you a simple tip: water-based products go on first, THEN oil-based products.
Why? Because oil creates a barrier, which means water can’t penetrate it. And if you’re using water-based products, that means those products aren’t actually sinking into your skin. So you’re putting something on that’s doing absolutely nothing for you — wasting your time, wasting the product, wasting your money.
When you layer your water-based products on first, the oil-based products also help them stay where they need to rather than evaporate off your skin, making them work more effectively and giving you a bigger bang for your buck.
Caveat: sunscreen always goes on top of everything else, no matter what.
Second caveat: I mentioned dry vaginal tissue, but I don’t recommend oil in your vag. Use a water-based lube for daily hydration and moisture. (Also helpful for period product insertion.) It’s not just for sex. 💖
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💸 SALES – Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Email or DM me, and I’ll send you my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice.
Your thoughts about sales directly translate to how you show up to sell your offer.
If you missed it this week, I sent out a workbook that will help you shift your thoughts about sales, to ensure you’re not making it weird.
Access your free Reclaiming Sales workbook here, and let me know what shifts for you as you go through it. 💸
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✨ SPELL – Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a full moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
FULL MOON RITUAL
The full moon is an excellent time to release anything you’ve been holding onto. And this can mean one of two things! Either you’ve been clinging to something that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip. Or you’ve been working toward creating something that you’re now ready to release into the world. Whichever option resonates most with you, that’s where to focus your energy for this ritual.
Supplies: paper, pen, candle, some sort of non-flammable receptacle (actual cauldron, metal, glass, or ceramic bowl or pot, fire pit outside, the base of a grill — you’re gonna burn some shit up so you want something to let it burn in that’s not going to cause any damage to anything)
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else. Then light your candle.
Write out what it is that you’d like to release. If this is something you’ve been clinging to that isn’t serving you, and you’re releasing your grip on it, fold the paper in half AWAY from your body. If it’s something you’ve been working on and are releasing into the world, fold the paper in half TOWARD your body.
Light the paper on fire and let it burn in your non-flammable receptacle.
BONUS: If you want to mix the burnt ashes with salt and/or offer them back to the earth by sprinkling them around outside or burying them under the moon, go for it!
If you’re reading this in real-time, both the sun and Pluto are about to shift into Aquarius. So, you know that 🎼 “This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius” 🎶 tune? That’s, like, ACTUALLY happening now.
Astrologers are allll up in the Pluto → Aquarius thing right now, and what they say it means varies (alien invasion? AI takeover? revolution? the end of capitalism?), but the bottom line is that it’s a big shift for the collective.
And the upcoming full moon is Thursday, January 25. This moon is in Leo, which is focused on the self shining bright.
Here’s my invitation to you for your Full Moon ritual: Center your writing on your ideal version of our world and your authentic place in creating that ideal. Then get LOUD about it, whatever that means for you.
So if your ideal world is full of love and connection, maybe your authentic place is deepening your friendships, so you start telling all of your friends you love them every time you think of them. Or if you have an online presence, maybe it involves spreading more love through your content.
Post in the Project Reclamation community or tag me on socials and let me know how you’re incorporating this into your full moon ritual. ✨
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✊ STATECRAFT – Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
I know we just hexed Trump two weeks ago, but given how the Iowa caucus turned out (which obviously isn’t a surprise, but still) I’m feeling a big pull to go ahead and send out more hexing toward that motherfucker.
What do you think? Is two in a row directed toward the same man too much?
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
